Last weekend I took part in the NuNude campaign #PerfectlyYou. A group of women of different skin tones, sizes, heights and other unique features all took to the streets of London to campaign for diversity, positivity and acceptance of all women. We were all wearing swimwear provided by NuNude. NuNude have created a line of "nude" swimwear and lingerie in varying skin shades, creating more realistic nude shades than are widely available.
The concept of this campaign was to empower others to be comfortable in the skin they're in, we all had signs, which we held as we walked the streets together in solidarity. Our signs represented negative comments that each of us had been called at some point in our lives. For example, mine said "You see fat...I see perfect" Now let me just say here that in my opinion the word "FAT" is not a negative comment in itself. It's a descriptive word, an adjective, one that simply describes me further. However many people throughout my life have flung this word at me in an attempt to belittle, hurt or offend me, so I bared reference to it in my sign.
Just like the rest of the thoroughly brave women who walked beside me, I felt empowered by the fabulous response we got from the public on the streets. People were receptive to the fact that we were making such bold statements and sticking two proverbial fingers up at anyone who thinks that these things are attributes to things to be ashamed of.
I struggle with the word "perfect" personally. I don't think that anything in this world is "perfect" as everyone's perception of what they deem as perfect is different, it's subjective. By me adding the words "I see perfect" I do not mean that being "fat" should be everyone's idea of perfect, I simply feel that I am perfectly fine with the way I am and I am happy and utterly confident in the skin I am in.
In today's society so many people deem that being overweight is unhealthy and undesirable and should be something that people should not wish to be, therefore anyone who is confident in a fat body is therefore glorifying obesity. *insert eye rolls*
So when NuNude posted a shot of me and Kay on their Instagram page, I was totally happy with sharing the image of myself. The image was shared several times and has amassed over 70,000 likes so far. So what if you could see my tummy and chunky thighs, I was grinning like the Cheshire Cat, I was as happy as Larry (who's Larry? anyone know??) BUT...it seems that my fat ass seemed to offend a LOT of people too!
Some of the 1,700+ comments were lovely and supportive of the campaign and supported the message we were trying to convey, others took it upon themselves to be judge, jury and executioner over the pressing case of my health.
The only problem with that is...YOU CANNOT JUDGE A PERSON'S HEALTH BY LOOKING AT A PHOTO!
So many people assumed that I am unhealthy, likely to die of diabetes or a heart condition or that I am "two mouthfuls away from a gastric bypass" (their comments not mine!) Many people even resorted to name calling, I was called a "Fat ass n***a", a "Fat c**t", a whale and many other colourful words...some even told me I should just kill myself, (nice eh?) Many of the worst comments were deleted by the brand in an attempt to reduce offending me.
I am not naive, I understand that being overweight may exacerbate health problems but you cannot assume that because I am overweight that I suffer with these things. You cannot assume I am lazy or that I "spend all day shoving cake in my fat gob" (how do they know my secret!) I don't need these people to worry for my health, I don't need them to assume that I do not exercise or that I am unfit. I certainly don't wanna hear about the fact that they are so repulsed by me that I should take my own life! I would love to know if these keyboard warriors would be so brazen if they were stood in front of me? If they knew me or actually had enough of a brain to do a little research on the person they were slating, would they still think the same? What is so criminal about being overweight and more importantly, who the hell gave them the right to pass judgement on me or my health? To be perfectly honest if fat is the worst that these guys can do, then I will take it all day long, cos I would much rather be known as a fat girl than a complete ass-hat!
Many people reached out to me personally, asking if I was okay after reading some of the comments. I am grateful for the look out, but really keyboard warriors do not phase me in the slightest. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions and I understand that I will not be everyone's cuppa. I do not need their concern over my health. I responded, I said my piece, I had no desire to retaliate to any of the comments personally or individually.
I consider myself extremely lucky that I have the mental tools to allow me to treat that negativity like water off a duck's back. Many people unfortunately aren't at this stage of acceptance and could have found the comments devastating. A few years ago, I would have not been so strong, my mental health would have taken a severe beating. Imagine if I had not had such thick skin and I had been so hurt by their opinions that I resorted to taking my own life. I'm not gonna lie, this is really my first real taste of trolling and it does hurt to hear the comments, but I do not dwell on their toxic negativity and I certainly do not let the words penetrate me. They are JUST WORDS and they are JUST trolls and they cannot hurt me.
If you can take one thing away from my experience, take this...
Trolls are ass-hats! If you ever are faced with this kind of experience, know that you are all kinds of awesome and the negative opinions of others do not define you in any way. You do not need the validation of anyone else to make you whole. If you are truly happy within yourself then no ones' negativity can penetrate your skin. Don't retaliate - it fuels their fire. Don't let them win - silence is way louder, ignore the ignorant...and keep fucking smiling!
xXx
- 01:07
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