Diary Entry - Friday 4th January

01:38

Dunno if you noticed but I have added a little positive quote or two into my posts of late. This is cos my friends bought me a little calendar for 2019 which gives me a positive quote for each day of the year.

The last two quotes have really resonated with me;
Jan 3rd was "Make Today Count" and today's (Jan 4th) was "Let Go - Move Forward"
Thurs 3rd Jan was a tough day painwise.  It's that time of the month and when I am on my pain seems to be exacerbated, especially for my back & hips.  Cramps make my life miserable and the current situation with needing to keep my wound clean and dry is virtually impossible during this time.  Despite being really uncomfortable with the level of pain I was experiencing, I was determined to try and "make today count" so I made sure that I did half a days work (as agreed with my Supervisor) which was my goal for the day.  Unfortunately my pain increased throughout the duration of the day. I had planned to go to BOOSTfit in Lingfield in the evening, but due to my pain I couldn't manage it.  

Great start to January Kat! I felt like a proper failure.  

It was only really by fluke that I flipped the page to the next day's quote..."Let Go - Move Forward" and instead of wallowing in the looming pit of negativity, I chose to try and alter my mindset.  Yes I am in pain but despite that I have achieved one of my main goals today.  I spent time with one of my best friends today.  All these things are progress. Focus on that instead. Let go of those negative feelings, they attach no value to your life right now...move forward. 

Today was far more productive, I assume that this is because I had my first session of CBT since before Christmas.  It was good to talk, I had a lot of experiences to talk through with Vanessa and it felt really cathartic to get it all off my chest, compartmentalise it all and to try and rationalise my negative thoughts.

I left CBT with a really positive mindset - ready to attack some tasks on my to-do list when I got home.  

After wasting an hour or two in front of the TV watching Drag Race, I got up and finished choreographing a new track for BOOSTfit. I picked my music for my return to my radio segment and I headed off to BOOSTfit for the Friday "Party class" at Limspfield.

I took most of the class on the low but it felt good to move. The atmosphere with, Jennie, Lisa, Sarah and I teaching was really electric, everyone seemed in good spirits and it was a really fun class.

I showed the choreo to Jen & Sarah and they seemed to really like the track, so I will try and record it soon so maybe Lou will use it for #BOOSTme.  Fingers crossed she likes it!

I headed straight from class up to Caterham for my radio show. I was really nervous about returning mainly due to my fear surrounding the pain of being sat down for 2 hours. I didn't manage to sit comfortably at all, so I stood for the 2 hours, but that was totally doable for the show. 

All in all I am really happy with my progress today.  I feel good and strong.

Can't wait for class tomorrow - should be fun :)

xXx

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