Year of Change02:59
So you know when you make a 1/2 arsed promise to yourself on 31st December to make sure that the next year will be "your year" or "the year" fully knowing that by 5th January any of the promises you made would have ebbed away...Yeah I did that - for the first time ever last Dec 31st I did just that and for the better half of the year I would pretty much say I flopped on every good intention I had. Until one day I had had enough. I committed to making some serious life changes.
I went to my doctor and I told her how upset I was with my image, my weight & my teeth and I explained that I felt that I had tried everything in my power to change. I really felt that I had hit a brick wall. I was low, probably lower than I had ever felt before. Now for me that in itself was a big step towards change. Admitting you have a problem and that you actually need an intervention is not something that I took lightly. In some ways I felt like I had broken down completely, I was useless, unable to fix myself and how could I be a mother and positive role model when I couldn't fix myself. I felt like by admitting my flaws, they had won! How wrong I was! That step...that little step was my first rung on the ladder towards the stage I am today. I am NOWHERE near comfortable & totally happy (but who ever is?) I am not professing to have found the key to life or anything as profound as that, but I really feel like I have made some positive changes to my life this year and for that I am proud of me!
I wasn't happy with my weight - I sought help and I have been referred to a medical team @ St George's to help me with that. Appointment re-scheduled for Jan 2015 (it should have been done already - but they cancelled my appointment on the day #fuming!)
I wasn't happy with my teeth & my severe dental phobia was preventing me from changing that - I'd reached a point where it was make or break. I found a new dentist, one who I trusted and one who had the patience to help me deal with my fears. I joined a Denture Wearers Forum, called DANS (Dentures A New Smile) which hooked me up with a community of like-minded people with similar experiences. Without my DANS family I would not have been able to get through this, they were such a foundation of strength for me and I cannot thank them enough.
Since then I have had 2 teeth extracted under local anaesthetic (in my 31 years this would have been the first time I have ever had ANY dental treatment under a local anaesthetic. I have always either been sedated, had "happy" or "laughing gas" or full general anaesthetic) I have also had 2 rounds of hygienist work done on my teeth also with only local anaesthetic. I was referred to King's College Dental Institute to have a further 16 teeth/roots removed whilst under general anaesthetic to make way for a partial upper denture to rebuild my smile. I stand here today with the closest thing I have ever had to a "Hollywood Smile" It's not perfect but it's a thousand times better than what I looked like before. Hopefully in the future I will have saved enough money to get enough dental implants to allow me to switch to a fixed bridge rather than a denture - but one step at a time, eh!?
Throughout my "Denture Adventure" I vlogged my journey - you can take a look here...
I wasn't happy with my working situation - So I changed it! I needed a new challenge, something new to sink my teeth into. I had a brilliant run at my current job; some big wins, promotion, won an award for "Best Support Staff of 2012," got the opportunity to go to Marrakesh as a result of winning that award (amazing trip with 12 other awesome colleagues) learnt tonnes in the role, but I wanted more. So I handed in my resignation on Friday (wonderful feeling) and who knows what the future holds.
My other 1/2 has a PPL (Private Pilot's Licence) and I have put off going up in a plane with him because of "fear" I figured that as this year is the "Year of Change" Why the fk not just grab the bull by the horns and get in that plane. So I did and OMG how glad am I? It was the most exhilarating experience I have had in my life. Add that to the immense pride I felt to be finally up in the air with my baby flying the plane. He has dreamt of being a pilot since he was a bairn so how could I not be welled up with pride that he has finally achieved his dream.
All in all - this year has been super eventful and I am hoping that THIS Dec 31st I can make a further promise to myself to make sure that 2015 is JUST as eventful as 2014! After all....#YOLO! :oP